Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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