no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
