so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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