i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
