so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
