I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is