Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
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Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
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He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?