its not stalking. its research.
they need to just BURY HIM!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I want her autograph on my taint
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
