Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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