i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
