Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
