hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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