Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
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Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
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I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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