Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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