M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
