Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
