well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
