Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
