I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
