my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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