Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
