So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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