is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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