left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We need to get me chipped asap
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
