i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.