Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?