they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.