trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
