I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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