At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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