I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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