Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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