3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
