Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
