discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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