I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
