How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
