why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
