We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
