i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
