I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize