OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize