Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
