I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize