Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
they're like a gay fantastic four
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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