I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
