you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
