I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
