people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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