How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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