i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
