Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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