I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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