Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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