You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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