I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
