bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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