I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
