I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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