btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
