god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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