Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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