this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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