watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
