i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
