so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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