I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
