Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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