I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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