I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
