we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
