do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
