I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
