it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
