Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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